The Adventures of Kona Rick #6

May 8, 2011 / konarick / 2 comments

    The drive from Hawi to Waimea, or do YOU say Kamuela, goes over the Kohala Range and then descends dramatrically into Kamuela.  It’s not always clear of the volcanic fog, or vog, but today was a medium day.  The clearer the day, the more astounding  the view.

   Kona had a mission this day.  Every day he had one, but this one seemed to be more urgent.  He headed toward the accident scene of the day before.  As he turned his SUV right, and up the hill, everything was gone.  It was a crisp morning and this was a special part of Hawaii.

   His mind was on coffee, go figure.  He felt good, and jouneyed up the montain.  Soon the treees and homes on the right disappeared and the vistas down to the ocean came on display.  The heavies in the Coffee Cartel in Kona were on to him.  The funny thing was, he had plans, but he didn’t expect any opposition.  They seemed to be making a big deal of whatever they thought his plans were.

   They planned to intimidate him into shrinking back.  Kona Rick was going to be a major player and he wanted that soon.  The Southpoint incident was a distant memory, and he had a surprise for those boys.

   The view was astounding as usual.  To the right was the slope down to the Pacific.  Ahead was the slope down to the city of Kamuela.  It was clear enough to make out the details and off in the distance was the beautiful coastline as it wound it’s way toward Kailua.

   “They’re gonna like my surprise.”  Kona spoke, and could envison his old friend, Dangerous Don who was coming to visit.  Heading to retirement from his Chicago lifestyle, Kona thought Don may be scouting the land for more than just a visit, if you know what I mean.  This was going to be a fantastic day and week….

TO BE CONTINUED

The Adventures of Kona Rick #5

March 29, 2011 / konarick / No comments

Instead of heading up the mountain Kona wisely turned back.

The local guy on the motorbike chimed in.

“There was an accident with a front-end loader and a minivan up the road, near the intersection.  Don’t go that way.  (“What other way is there” he had thought.) 

As it was getting dark, Kona opted for a couple of shells of Kava, and a soft knock on the door of an old friend at the Hawi Hotel.

With a smile and a quick motion she tossed Kona Rick the key to a vacant room.  “Usual Rate?” he said.

“Yep” as she walked down the hall with a sweet smile back in his direction.

The rooms were just what a guy needed.  A hot shower gave way to a deep sleep. 

Kona was in heaven, wow!  No, it was one of those fancy Buddha Artwork locations with the dolphins and some flying turtles.  Cool.  Lido Bay?  Lido Cay?  Lido Key?  Why did this place seem familiar?

“Bam” a shot rang out, then more, and a rat atat tat, of a muffled machine gun.  He was up now.  Ah, a woodpecker, just outside the window.  Hmm.

The sweet sounds of the Big Island birds were ringing out in a morning symphony as he began to listen to their chorus.

“How bout a Kona coffee, dear”

“How bout”  He cut her off.

“Either I get my Kona, or….How bout some hot water.”  “And the paniola egg special, Over Easy.” 

“OK cowboy, she kidded.”  (Little did she know that back in his day, Kona was a big favorite of a number of waitresses.  These days he was too, well, busy.)

He poured his instant Gano Excel into the cup and added some cream. 

 ”MMMMM, just right.”

As he finished the breakfast, he kept remembering that dream.  “What DID it mean?”  What Indeed…….

TO BE CONTNUED

The Adventures of Kona Rick #4

March 23, 2011 / konarick / 3 comments

Wow, what a day, AND Night. Lots to think about. obviously he was in the middle of a feud with the coffee ‘cartel.’ They were some bad dudes, and he had only encountered their lower level foot solders out there at South Point. That place has such a well, interesting vibe. It’s hard to explain.

Actually, Kona Rick was a big fan of coffee, but had discovered a new brew. He tried a healthy coffee and he was enjoying it at that moment. Gano Excel is the name and if the coffee people he knew even suspected that he was using a brand other than Kona, 100%, well that’s like, against the law. (But he felt so much extra energy when he drank it.)

But, today, heading north along the Kona shore he had another mission in mind.

He was long overdue for a visit to the ladies at Health in Motion, in downtown Hawi. Thats HAH/vee to you mainlanders. These legendary masseuses are a bit of a secret. If you’re not careful you drive right past their bright blue oasis in the storm on the second floor, near the fish market and not far from the Kava Bar.

Let’s just say that they earn their money. Nothin’ funny going on here. The music was a little too quiet, but once Coral gets you in her trance you are done for.
“You seem more tense than usual, brother, and what’s with the scratches?”
“You’ll have to read about it when the book comes out.”

Kona was in a happy place as she worked and worked and once the hour was up, he wanted more. But a new mission was on the horizon, and he was going in search of his old buddy, Dangerous Don.

One thing about those ladies. Except for Coral they all had one syllable names. I mean Ambre, Ai, Ui, well, that’s two I guess. I
guess in the long run it really saved on letters. They have a good thing going there, at Health In Motion.

Kona had one more stop before he headed up the mountain…….

The Adventures of Kona Rick Pt.3

March 15, 2011 / konarick / One comment

The Best thing about South Point is the drive when you crest a hill south of Ocean View and get the stunning panarama of the point jutting out into the ocean.  It takes the breath away.  It is the Southermost point in the US. but it’s the view on the way there that causes the jaw to drop.

   Anywway, Kona was in a tight spot it seemed.  He wisely backed his hand away from the console of the car.  In Kona’s background there is some military training but he never has the patience for the actual Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines.  I think we’ll just throw in the Coast Guard too, even though he had heard about certain fringe benefits that came with the million dollar seizures that happened rather often.

   The boys hopped out of the truck and shot glances his way as their ‘leader’ tumbled out of the passenger side. 

“Kona, Kona, Kona, howzit brah?”   “Where you been”

“I been roaming the earth, going to and fro.  (Kona has always wanted to use that line.  This may NOT have been the perfect place.)

“Now you’re quoting the good book, eh?”  The leader, Nako said with a chuckle.  (Kona hadn’t seen that coming-it seemed they both were familiar with the devil parts of the bible.)

The boys had two smells going, one distinctly a result of hard work or no showers.  Kona guessed the latter.   Their toothy grins revealed a disdain for  the  dental community.  He also figured they were not Pro hockey players.

“Word is, you’re starting a new…hobby, that true?”

“Well, Nako, I always have things going, multiple income streams!”

“Yeah, and I wanted to remind you who calls the shots with Kona Coffee.” 

Kona nodded and surveyed the boys, again.  They looked stoned and a bit harmless, but their moods could change just like the South Point winds.  Pre-Senility Syndrome came to mind.  Their unpredictablity probably was a job requirement.

“Well, I am glad we had this little talk, yeah,”  Kona Rick gathered himself and had the keys in his right hand.  Nako threw a lightning fast sidekick and the keys flew about ten feet onto the dirt.  A second perfectly aimed shot caught him in the side and he bit the dirt right next to his keyring.

A stunned Kona tensed up and got ready for a fight that only movie heroes won.  This was real life one on five and he quickly counted the cost and backed down.

“Just remember Kona, that you need to purchase certain ’prah-ducts’ from a certain represntative of the coffee cartel to assure good business practices.  Right boys?”

The guys laughed it up and Kona felt the hot South Point sun burning the places that had been scratched in the little dustup. 

“We don’t have any issues, you’ll see.”  He grabbed the keys and slipped away under the watchful eyes of the missing teeth goons. 

As he drove off, Nako was waving.  “We know how to find you, Rick.”

TO BE CONTINUED

The Adventures of Kona Rick, Pt. 2

March 7, 2011 / konarick / 3 comments

   73 Miles Per Hour on this Kona road is a little risky.  The Rent-A-Junker sedan needed a paint job, detailing, and had an interesting slice in the passenger seat.

   “That could tell a story”  Kona Rick thought out loud.

   He sipped on a cup of coffee picked up in Kealakekua, with a little more cream than he preferred.

   Hitting eject, he found the previous driver’s prized selection-Jim Nabors Sings Christmas Songs.  (Really?  Only in Hawaii.)

   “No Hana Hou for you, buckaroo” Kona said, flipping the metal frisbee out the window and over the cliff.

   To the left was the other lane and a Hawaiian mountain.  To right, Hawaiian air, with a good portion being vog.  The littering part crossed his mind for a second, but a speeding ticket was more of a risk.  But where would the squad car sit on this skinny cliff road?

   His thoughts drifted back to her-as they often did.  Past the bat-cave (yep, real bats out out at dusk-not Batman.)  Past the abandoned coffee warehouse on the cliff edge on onto the curvy part of the road.  Slow ‘er down to 50 in a 35.

   She was Nina, the second woman he’d loved all those years-the other was a girl.  The girl had broken his heart-but not Nina, she just flittered away like a butterfly.  He knew he’d see her again…someday.

   They had arrived on Catalina Island on different boats together back in the summer of ’03. It was the kind of meeting movies would kill for. He hi-jacked her from a coffee joint right out from under her friends’ noses.

   He turned onto Southpoint Road-I forgot to tell you the best part about South Point….

   He named her Nina Catalina and they had a night to beat all nights.  When they finally hit closing time at a certain establishment, she couldn’t find her sailboat, but they found his.

   A week later, they  parted company in Laguna Beach after a Hawaiian Style breakfast, and a few calls over the years kept the flames going.

   All of a sudden, a pick-up with two long-haired dudes in the front, and 2 big guys in the bed pulled up alongside Rick on the narrow road.  Tattoopalooza, he thought.

   “Kona!”

   After a nod, they motioned to pull over.  Kona’s hand reached for a ‘friend’ but something told him to hold off.  He eased the car to the shoulder.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Adventures of Kona Rick Pt. 1

February 26, 2011 / konarick / One comment
Kona Rick has his coffee
Kona Rick has his coffee

Kona Rick has his coffee

 

clouds

clouds

   He was passing on the perfect ‘Penny’s Papaya Passion.’  What seems like an old man’s brunch is a culinary work of art, but you would not know it from the plain menu.   Actually, it was Kona Rick’s suggestion that gave the dish its name. 

   Kona sipped pure coffee from the perch overlooking Kealakekua Bay in the distance.  In fact, looking down and to the right reveals the trees that yield this berry brew.  Secretly he’s researching the carrot cake recipe-convinced that the last ingredient is on the tip of his tongue.  (Rick has connections to an elite group of East Coast bakers that have been after the complete recipe to offset the high cost of shipping from Kona.) 

   By the way, Big Jake, the owner is not suspicious of Kona’s motives.

   “I’ll take the Cobb Salad, and  little more…” with a smile and a wiggle of the coffee cup.

   This is the kind of place where secret negotiations go on in public.  No fancy drinks here, no posse, no dogs in purses.  Your agent WON’T call my people.  Often, the locals and tourists entertain big time coffee buyers and international ‘persons of interest’ without a clue.

   There’s a rumor that a very large Sumo dude guarded the back room door one time back in ’03 during negotiations  involving a zebra and a helicopter.  The animal and the aircraft came in on a ship late one evening at Kawaihae Harbor.  The coffee was hauled out the same day in suitcases and duffle bags.  Other packages were shipped out the following week.  The leader of a small island republic really likes that same coffee Kona was drinking today.

   This is a salt of the earth brew that much of the world has not yet experienced.  Anyway, as Alyssa brought the fabulous salad, Kona was aware of the ever-increasing vog affecting the view.  Our hero felt the caffeine kicking in, causing his vision to gain focus.

“This is gonna be a great day.”   TO BE CONTINUED

 

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